The Old Toys

My daughter’s birthday is approaching faster than I can prepare for it and one of the pre-birthday jobs I had to do was to sort out her toys. Her toys take up half of the living room, she plays everyday, quite happily on her own most of the time, and I needed to make room for her new birthday toys.

Today I decided to sort them all out! I cleared the drawer, the bookcase, her ball pit, everything! I’ve sorted through every inch of that living room and there’s so much space ready for the new toys. The plan for the old toys is to put them in storage, in the loft. I can not access the loft without my husband for 2 reasons: 1, I’m scared of the spiders! And 2, I’m too small! I don’t even know if her old toys will fit through the loft hatch!

Some of her smaller toys, mainly her 0+ toys, I placed in a storage box in the corner of the living room. These toys haven’t been played with for months, but I know she still wants them around. She will pick up a teddy bear and put it in her toy pram but that’s literally it.

The living room was spotless, everything was tidied into its own spot, all of my daughter’s age suitable toys were in plain sight ready to be played with. You can imagine my surprise, when she returned from her day out with her grandparents, and gravitated towards the box of toys that I deemed unwanted. She is currently playing with a ‘my first Christmas’ rattle that she received Christmas 2018 when she was 2 months old. There’s plenty of room for her new birthday toys now; will she just ignore them and stick to her old toys? Probably!

Kids – they do what they want!

– K x

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Poop.

Lol. No I’m not 5 years old, however we need to talk about poop. Specifically the poop change when your baby transitions from formula to full fat cow’s milk, because I was so not ready for it.

Yes my baby was formula fed by the way, I personally see no issue with not breastfeeding. She’s thriving! I wanted to breastfeed but I just couldn’t. I tried for 4 weeks and my baby just wasn’t gaining weight, my mental health was spiralling downwards, so I moved to formula and, as it turns out, it was the best decision for myself and my baby. A fed baby is a happy baby!

So back to poop! Her poop has been like chicken korma: runny, yellowish and horrific! The poop explosions were loud and proud. Endless amounts of baby clothes have been ruined, actually my clothes too! Now we have changed to full fat cow’s milk her poop is suddenly, for lack of a better word, human. There’s just a ‘normal’ human poop sitting in her nappy. She even strains to get it out bless her!

Yay poop! Yay parents who talk about poop! POOP!

– K x

World Mental Health Day 2019

Do you cry in the bath? Because I do! I also cry, occasionally, when I do the dishes. Partly because I hate doing them and partly because I’m on my own with my thoughts and everything just hits me.

When you are physically unwell you get sympathy and help. When you are mentally unwell you feel as though you are a burden, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

I have struggled with my mental health in the past; since becoming a mother I continue to battle, daily, with my mental health. It’s important to talk about it. I didn’t for so long and it just ate away at me.

I have the amazing support of my husband. As much as he can irritate the hell out of me, I love him so very much and I am very thankful for his support and love. He has helped me so much more than he knows, I am on the brighter side of life again.

Talk about what is going on in your head. Find your support network. There’s always someone who will listen. You will get through this; take it one day at a time.

It’s ok not to be ok. – K x

The Health Visitor Visit

My daughter is almost 1 and here in the UK that means a visit from her assigned HV (health visitor). HVs are appointed to every baby born in the region and they are there to help new parents navigate parenthood. If you have any questions or problems you can contact your personal HV and this will give you a quicker response instead of scheduling an appointment with your GP.

*Disclaimer* All views in this post are entirely my own. My experience with the health visitor team is solely my own experience and I don’t want you to assume all health visitor teams are like mine. If you need urgent advice don’t disregard your own HV based on my opinions. Ok, let’s crack on!

I knew this visit was coming, it was mentioned the last time my HV came to visit. My last visit was instigated by myself, I had been feeling very down. I was struggling to ‘get up’ in the mornings, I was physically getting out of bed but mentally I was throwing the duvet over my head and closing my eyes to return to sleep. I had to get up, I had to be a mother today, I was starting to loath being a mother. My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but in my head, I was starting to fail at life. I went to my GP, she scheduled a HV visit for the next day, “things are moving forward” I thought. I poured my heart out to my HV and she looked me right in the eyes and said: “I think you need to go to a baby group”.

Now, that’s not exactly what I was expecting to hear. The mother who is struggling, the mother who feels like she is a failure has to attend a baby group full of fellow mothers who by no means look like they’re failing. I knew that wouldn’t make me feel better at all. I did say this to my HV and she told me to just “give it a go”. Marvellous.

I didn’t attend a baby group.

I did eventually start to feel better, lots of talks with my husband who reassured me that I was doing amazingly and I started to really get out of the house more, lots of walking and so many parks were visited. I never realised just how many there are around where I live! Anyway, that was my last contact with my HV until today.

She phones up to say she’s on her way and my baby is fast asleep when she arrives. She starts asking lots of questions about my daughter. Although my daughter is not yet 1, she can walk and I mean properly properly walk and my HV doesn’t seem to believe me. After all of the questions she declares that my daughter has scored 12/12! Hooray! As if by magic, my daughter wakes up. She proceeds to jump down and run into the hallway, the HV is amazed and finally she believes me. My daughter reaches across the sofa and takes her dummy/dodie/pacifier and the HV says “now, she needs to stop that, it will stunt her speech” and basically this opened the doors on her speech of all of the things that I am doing incorrectly.

No dummy. No juice, just cold boiled water. Limited sugar. No more formula milk. No more than 1 pint of milk per day and only at night. No drinks during the night. On and on and on and on!

After she had finished making me feel rubbish, she said that I must’ve had a good year because she hadn’t had any contact from myself! I literally couldn’t believe it, I mentioned the last time she visited and she said “oh I don’t remember, did I recommend a baby group?” I actually laughed.

My daughter is signed off as being healthy, happy and developing well. We are done with the health visitors until next year. Maybe next year we’ll be out when she’s supposed to visit, maybe we’ll be at a baby group, who knows!

K x

Busy Days

Today is a busy day for us. The problem being that it’s not a busy ‘kid’ day, it’s a busy adult day. Myself and my husband have lots to do today and there isn’t much time to squeeze in any baby activities, this will be a challenge to keep her occupied but sometimes you have to have days like these.

The day will contain lots of people, who she may recognise, and they will interact with her to entertain her for a while. She is very good and entertaining herself now, she will happily sit and play for a good 15mins on her own before she checks to see if she’s with anyone, I’m just worried she’ll become fussy very quickly throughout today and she’ll have a whinge!

Either way, we have our day planned out and I hope she will enjoy being a part of it! Fingers crossed! – K x

Believing Everything

Do you believe everything that you hear? You catch a colleague sharing an elaborate piece of gossip and you thoroughly believe every single word? You talk to the cat and you honestly know exactly what they’re meowing back to you?

I believe a lot of nonsense that I know I shouldn’t believe but there’s that familiar little twinkle of ‘well it could be true’ echoing through my brain. This happened a lot when my daughter was born: don’t do this it’ll harm her, don’t give her that she will choke, don’t buy that it’s not safe, blah blah blah. I know we all want the best for our children but at some point you have to realise that you can’t shield them from everything and if you begin to believe everything that you hear, you will drive yourself crazy. Trust your parental gut, not everything in the world is out to harm you.

Anyway, back to my original point of believing everything. My husband always tells me exactly when he’s going to finish work and I always believe that he’ll be home on time. He never is. Don’t believe everything you hear! – K x

It’s Autumn

The dreaded days have arrived. It’s Autumn.

We’ve had a mixture of weather this Summer in England, North East England specifically. The average weather would definitely have been the humid, hot, sweaty days. I feel as though the majority of my summer was spent trying (and failing) to control my frizzy hair, no amount of argon oil was going to save it! The time I wasted every morning battling with my daughter to put her suncream on, only for it to be rendered useless by 11am because the sun had disappeared behind heavy, dense, humid clouds.

The end of summer is neigh when the mornings and evenings begin to get darker; the unwelcome drop in temperature is a certain giveaway too! The leaves start to fall from the trees and the rain clouds descend, lovely wet leaves stick themselves to the pram wheels, a collection of leaves, mud and whatever else (I dread to think what) are now being dragged around with us and evidently into the house, because I always forget to wash them down before going back inside.

More and more days are spend indoors, we are unable to visit our usual parks as they are sodden with rain water. The baby becomes unhappy within her pram quicker than usual; her view is restricted by the pram’s rain cover. I am frantically checking social media for other parents’ advice for rainy day activities within our own home, solely to avoid the pram fiasco everyday.

Today we are waiting for a break in the rain to adventure out to get some milk, we don’t desperately need milk but what we do need is fresh air!

K x